Leaf on glass, and Saved Nut # 2

It's a little like this really. The window shows me the world, but the small leaf, with its umber, decaying sadness, its precariousness and fragility, is what's in focus, what's taking up the viewfinder. The moon and sixpence, my own small worry and unhappiness looming large in my awareness. Only there is light through it, and it's not without beauty, and sometimes a closer focus is no bad thing.

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Images shouldn't really have to be spelled out like this. A proper poet would be able to say much more with less, and with much less crude analogy. And in fact, I don't know that the melancholia is so very appropriate either, or at least shouldn't be indulged.

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More heartache with Molly; turns out the infection this time is a horrible, antibiotic-resistant strain that can only be treated with daily injections, for at least a month, so that's a life skill I'm having to learn. Only sub-cutaneous ones, so I suppose that's something. She'll have to wear a lampshade again - the bandage comes off today- so I googled around and found a European supplier of those more flexible transparent ones with the padded neck and quick fastening.

Too much fear and negativity to give way to, too many things not to look forward to, so best not to look forward any more than is necessary to make essential plans and arrangements. She's not in pain and is often quite bright and full of fun, so I've no good reason to be a wet blanket. It would make more sense to be pragmatically cheerful. And we have good friends to turn to.

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Enough. I'm able to enjoy much, other people's happiness included, and the still prevailing good mood about the presidential inauguration is still a tonic. Moreover, the stress has assisted with the 2.5 kilo weightloss I have succeeded in achieving since Christmas, so every cloud.

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Thanks for bearing with my gloominess. This too shall pass.

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Update: Just after writing this, E. rang full of comfort and reassurance, said she'd be there to help Tom when I'm away - it had begun to look as if all our friends were going to be out of town that week and I was getting desperate. We then went to our regular vet, who said she's happily do it every day she was open when I was going to be away, so that only left the Sunday for E. to have to help with it. Then when she went to reorder the stuff (the surgical vet had only given us a small amount), she found it was now only available in a weaker strength, which meant even bigger, even more difficult injections. At this point I cracked and asked how much would she charge to do it every day instead of my doing it, and her quote was so reasonable I almost collapsed with relief and made the deal there and then. So now it's only Sundays to dread, and a daily lunchtime commute to Loudeac, which can be made bearable by walks at the watermill on the way home. It's not going to be a bundle of laughs but it's immeasurably better than it was going to be. She can also have the e-collar off when she's walking, to get the air around her ear, as long as we watch she doesn't roll in any dirt. As she's not Porridge this shouldn't be too much of a problem!

This relief prompted us to come home and indulge in chocolate chip cookies and peanut brittle, so much for stress-induced eating less; comfort eating was always more my way. Molly, by the way, has, it seems, gained about 250 grams on account of getting fewer walks and more food treats to compensate her poorly state. As she weighs roughly a tenth of what I do (if I'm honest), her gain was probably commensurate with my loss, so that's where it went...

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Saved Nut # 2

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Little Saints. This has always been a favourite, one of the first substantial posts I wrote; local interest and a tentative feel around the spiritual. The photography is limited to basic illustration, I still wasn't very confident about it at that time. I had very few readers then, but it did have the noteworthy distinction of drawing the enigmatic Brother from his cell in the Mojave to make a comment, something rarely seen then, not really at all now, as far as I know, and still, I feel, something of a feather in my cap. One of the interesting things I've found going over the archives is noting who's come and gone in the shifting landscape of blogging after two years.

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Quite a long piece again, and not easy to cut; I found I even had to qualify some things which weren't clear. I used to visit the place quite often, but haven't been for a long time. Perhaps it's time I paid them a visit.