Friday, November 20, 2009

Down under cloudbanks...

Down under the cloudbanks, woods and water
are a brown study, clouded yellow. 
High among mistletoe, jays screech and grind
like doors unwilling to open or close.

They recall green parakeets in a black walnut tree,
a batik hanging, from when beech leaves,
gold lights in toffee darkness, the unseen,
known blue flashing wings, were not enough.

The jays have nothing to scold, it seems,
but scold they will.  I think I am averse
to figures in my landscape.  The air is tepid,
moist; the accents are uncertain, you, too diffuse.

Can you shape the low cloud into being,
turn vapour to a burning bush?


(Verbal doodling.  To say it is a first draft is not quite so, that was on a garage bill in my pocket for a leaking aerial.  Down at the watermill, so deep in the valley neither light nor mobile phone can find you...  It really is just about the weather. I think.)


christopher said...


I love it when you decide to doodle. :)


I am wry, diffuse
and ducking jabs high and low,
I will avoid work
as per usual
in this odd pairing of us.
How can you ask me
such a thing as if
it is not enough that I
scrub the God damned pans?

Lucy said...

Christopher, thanks so much. I really wasn't sure about posting it at all and thought I might just put a few photos instead, but your response makes it worthwhile.

Unknown said...

The description of jays scolding is just right. I am not sure which to prefer the poem itself or the description of how it came about. Sometimes the spontaneity of verbal doodling beats careful crafting, don't you think?

Lucas said...

I really like this poem - it is a spontaneous example of what has taken years to craft. I love the lines and half rhymes and "a batik hanging, from when beech leaves/gold lights in toffee darkness...
kerouac had a notebook strapped to his wrist in a plastic bag, for writing down what the leaves said as he sat on a rock getting drenched by spray.

jarvenpa said...

Love the line about the blue jays.
And your fine music.

Lucy said...

Thanks to all four of you, and welcome Jarvenpa. Horses for courses: a handful of comments on a poem post from discerning poetry commenters are more precious than rubies!

Sheila said...

"Verbal doodling." I'm going to remember that, and how important doodling is to creating anything.