I'm not sure if this poem's finished or ready; I whittled away at it for a few days then put it to one side, and wasn't sure if I wanted to keep it. Then I read this post, which caught my eye in excerpt at Dave's Smorgasblog (oh happy day when that came back!), at Watermark, where I hadn't been before, and it affirmed the thoughts behind it, and made me more inclined to post it.
People come and people grow...
Ilan's starfish hand turns
the seagreen pebble pendant over,
- a splat, said Kate, who played
with stones and mud pies,
and made it, a scrap
of clay thrown on the kiln floor,
only the upside glazed -
with stones and mud pies,
and made it, a scrap
of clay thrown on the kiln floor,
only the upside glazed -
he pulls the cord out taut
from my neck, slides it
like an abacus's bead, learns
with fingers how it's smooth
and round one surface, rough
and flat the other, finds out
first hand about, and studies,
this two-sidedness of things.
from my neck, slides it
like an abacus's bead, learns
with fingers how it's smooth
and round one surface, rough
and flat the other, finds out
first hand about, and studies,
this two-sidedness of things.
20 comments:
'the two-sidedness of things': that's terrific, and a very satisfying poem.
It may not be finished, but it may not need to be.
Lovely writing! Keep up your great work. I'm trying to get back at it.
A lovely pendant and a beautiful princeling's hands - such wonderful inspiration for a terrific piece of writing!
Jean's right: that's a very satisfying ending. I was surprised you didn't dwell a little longer on the image, but perhaps you don't need to.
Glad you're finding the resusitated Smorg useful. (Incidentally, you can link directly to it via the Smorgasblog Archives link at the bottom of the column. There's a feed, too.)
"...a little longer on the image of the abacus," I meant to say.
This is a wonderfully tactile and visual poem with a wonderful ending which of course is also a beginning. The presence of the creator of the pendant in the poem is also "satisfying..."
lovely to see that such a beautiful piece of jewellery helped to inspire such a lovely poem.
Thanks all.
Jean - lovely to see you. It really struck me how carefully he seemed to notice the two different textures...
Zhoen - perhap; while revision etc getting it as good as you can, is important, and I wouldn't want to say 'it's only the blog', there is something to be said for things being fresh and of the moment, and fragments can be nice.
JZR - you will, and you keep things ticking over...
Dave - thanks, I've adjusted the link, and thanks for Smorg!
Lucas - thanks, I'm always pleased to see you when there's a poem about! (Or anyway...)
CGP - It is a satisfying object, and lies well, which other ceramic pendants I've got don't. She's a strapping lass in her thirties now, but always enjoyed making things.
I love this, and so will he when he is older...
I like the learning with fingers...this is a follow on from pointing...
I also like "cord out taut," how the words stretch like the cord, moving from the soft d and swallowed o in cord to the open au and t in taut. Very nice!
I can see him now and grown up both with those last two lines. Such a gentle poem, giving him room to grow.
And that starfish hand -- perfect.
Lovely poem, and lovely pendant.
Oh I'm not very good at analyzing poems..but this one I love! I can imagine those tiny naughty fingers playing with the pendant..I love 'nibbling' my baby's fingers..yum..they're so small and full of curiosity. Princeling is such a cutie..
Yes a lovely piece Lucy, and very life affirming.
It is a gorgeous thing, no wonder it caught his eye and hands.
I hope you are not still insure about keeping it. It's a gem.
Great word, "splat." "Two-sidedness" I like as a close as well... Outloud, I'd rather drop the "'s" on "abacus's" and just have "abacus bead."
Two-sidedness winning me over too... I like the way it reflects the duality of touch and knowing.
I have an idea that we don't touch, or be touched, enough.
Two gems, one blog post. *Smiling*
Beautiful. I love that age in little boys, when the whole world is an adventure and experiment.
"starfish hand" was perfect.
God Bless. E
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