Self-doubt, self-hate, nasty, nattering, grubby, gnawing,
Keep away from me! If I should wake, cowardly like Napoleon,
At 2, or 3 or 4 o'clock, I'll tell you now
Begone, piss off, get stuffed!
I've better things to do than fight with you!
IN PLAIN SIGHT
46 minutes ago
13 comments:
Shoo, from me too.
(o)
Not sure what that was about but I don't like any of those emotions even a little. Sometimes in AA we say something like
"Okay, I'll give you five minutes, then shut up!"
or
"I have no idea where you got your information but thanks for sharing. Now shut the eff up!"
Begone self-doubt. Leave 'our' Lucy alone. (((L)))
Yikes! I can't understand how you could have self-doubt or self-hate, Lucy. Your many admirers should keep you centered. Take care.
Thanks dears!
Nothing to worry about really; life goes on so calmly and placidly for me most of the time, with barely a hiccup, that having to deal anything a little bit contrary in the outside world tends to ruffle my feathers! Some teaching hadn't gone very well, then I had to have business conversation with a neighbour I wasn't looking forward to and wished I hadn't had to have, and overall felt tired and a bit fed up. I'd mostly relaxed for the evening, but I know that I can feel equal to things in the day, then wake in the small hours feeling assailed, and not good for much. Napoleon said something about true courage being the kind you can find at two in the morning!
Perhaps it should have just stayed in the notebook, as it rather looks like I'm fishing for strokes and reassurance, but I thought it might have more weight if I got it out in the open! Anyway, it worked; I didn't wake till gone five, by which hour the wolf had slunk off, and I resloved to get up early and have go at some things here.
Relieved to read your reply above.
Your blog is a fixture in my reading list, like that milestone you stick with so you're always on the road it points to.
Yes, I'm relieved to read the reply.
My heart sank a little when I read the post.
Why?
Well, I don't like seeing anyone unhappy.
More specifically I enjoy your blog;
The poetry challenges me because it is a medium I struggle with.
The photos are great, sometimes fun, somtimes thought provoking, sometimes just beautiful.
The words always flow with a smoothe ease.
You sometimes post a thoughtful comment on my blog.
And sometimes there is an interesting link.
In short, Lucy, your blog is too good to throw away. I'd miss it.
Should it have stayed in the notebook?
No, one of the beauties of blogging is that you can let off steam in a way that you cannot elsewhere.
Phew! Glad I can treat the poetry just as poetry. Reminiscences of a limerick:
There was an old bard of Japan
Who wrote verses that no one could scan.
When asked why 'twas so,
He said, "Yes, I know,
But I always try and get as many words into the last line as I possibly can."
Except you did it with the first line. Reckon Hemingway (now there's an unpopular citation) was better than Old Tummyache.
But then again, the strokes and reassurances are very nice too...
Thanks, Anil and Write. I wish the words did flow with smooth ease, I seem to have to work quite hard a them, but I'm glad they give that impression anyway!
Ha, BB, that's Blogger layout and my rather slavish-to-fashion not capitalising of initial lines. I have double spaced and capitalised to make matters clearer. I always enjoyed Hemingway, and he wasn't anymore hooked on violence and bloodsports than Ted Hughes anyway. Who's Old Tummyache?
Oh, hang on, was it Napoleon?
Making a neat parcel of crossness and throwing it overboard (or at a blog) is often a good idea. Seldom is it done as well as you have. Worth saving for use on a similar occasion.
i'm glad i stopped by after your explanation was posted.
i agree...tossing those emotions overboard is an excellent exercise i too often forget works!
Wish I could invite you over for a glass of port ... port really helps kill off that nasty stuff.
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