tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post862852851321669..comments2023-10-31T15:39:09.651+01:00Comments on box elder: MumLucyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09764296105901909328noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-9815045201906057812014-09-16T16:16:56.418+02:002014-09-16T16:16:56.418+02:00I did enjoy this. I remember your Mum as a benign ...I did enjoy this. I remember your Mum as a benign background presence to our intense teenage years, most appreciated (by me) for the great cakes she made, usually served with ice cream! Your Dad I mostly remember doing the ironing... Great photos. So many amazing pairs of glasses.Fire Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13518190677399410354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-13089626630417884572014-09-16T05:00:02.497+02:002014-09-16T05:00:02.497+02:00There is a kind of continuity in how she looks fro...There is a kind of continuity in how she looks from childhood to old age that comes out sharply in the photos; she looked like she had an old spirit as a child.<br /><br />As for complex, painful feelings about one's mom - yes, I know that too… I noticed as I grow older that I learn more and understand her more, but that other things will always remain unknowable and unexplained.HKatzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17653570160517335758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-42383317094929428382014-09-14T18:08:11.204+02:002014-09-14T18:08:11.204+02:00Lovely peek at your photos and your past. Why are ...Lovely peek at your photos and your past. Why are mother-daughter relationships so muddled sometimes? Oh, we are different from our mothers just as times are different and sometimes I think there lies the difficulty, at least I think it was with me and my mother. I didn't know my grandmothers since I left at the age of five and they had died before our visit back.<br /><br />These photos remind me that I have my parents' old photo albums and loose photos, most undated and unnamed - so many cousins that I don't recall who they are. No photos of them as babies or children - I think their families were too poor then to afford photographers.<br /><br />I have regrets that I did not get all those names and information before both parents passed away far too young.<br /><br />Thanks for this, Lucy!marja-leenahttp://www.marja-leena-rathje.infonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-39375798457763924802014-09-12T13:33:11.779+02:002014-09-12T13:33:11.779+02:00Thanks all, for such thoughtful comments.
A nice ...Thanks all, for such thoughtful comments.<br /><br />A nice response from one of my nieces when she saw these, remembering a time much later, when Mum, by then a stout old lady, went paddling in the sea with her dress up round her thighs and got knocked over and soaked by a big wave, and she and the little girls went home wet and giggling, presumably on the bus. Her grandchildren remember her with much more straightforward love and pleasure. <br /><br />Ellena - I would indeed like to reach that point, and would hope to be perhaps a little happier and more serene than she was at that age. I don't mind knowing that I resemble her, I don't see it so much in the mirror as in photos.<br /><br />Zhoen - yes, that analogy rings very true, and is beautifully expressed. Perhaps youngest children often observe more than others and feel less willing to participate.<br /><br />Christopher - thank you. I know there is much about her it's worth aspiring to, her energy and strength, and other things I know are there in me but which I must guard against. Not having six children, or indeed any, of course precludes becoming like her, and my observations and fear of what I saw, and of Larkin's coastal shelf, played some part in my not having them, it must be said. But I feel now that he didn't quite get it right, it persists but doesn't deepen, is more like the image inverted: the waves continue to wash up onto the shore but slowly withdraw and grow shallower. I've become a kind of tentative and reluctant optimist like that, at least in some cases. Too late, for me anyway, to find out, of course, but that's OK.<br /><br />PC - Good that you've the time and chance to make your peace. One of the disadvantages of being a late child is that you can miss that (on the plus side, I won't have the worry and heartache of ageing parents when I myself and failing I guess). Sadly I find that I dwell much less on how I felt she harmed or failed me, and much more now on the pain I caused her.<br /><br />Bruce - 'duty' was a big word with her, almost a kind of higher power. Admirable, of course, but in danger of being joyless. Thanks for reading.<br /><br />Lyse - oui, l'air de famille devient de plus en plus evident! C'est bien que tu pouvait rejoindre tes frères et soeurs pour le centennaire de ta maman, c'est difficile pour nous (nous ètions six aussi) car nous sommes plutôt repandus... Merci de faire l'effort de lire!<br /><br />Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09764296105901909328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-72330021865834686382014-09-12T10:21:15.157+02:002014-09-12T10:21:15.157+02:00Voilà une très jolie page d'écriture.
Tu sais ...Voilà une très jolie page d'écriture.<br />Tu sais Lucy, parler ainsi de sa maman, montre qu'elle est toujours dans tes pensées et c'est agréable de se souvenir.<br />Chaque photo que j'ai vue d'elle me fait dire que physiquement tu lui ressemble beaucoup.<br />Quand ma maman aurait eu 100 ans, nous nous sommes tous retrouvés (6) pour fleurir sa tombe puis nous avons déjeuné tous ensemble pour évoquer son souvenir. c'était très important!<br />Bises Lysehttp://lysevaine.canalblog.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-41537887287282504722014-09-12T04:22:44.510+02:002014-09-12T04:22:44.510+02:00A beautifully written remembrance, Lucy, though pe...A beautifully written remembrance, Lucy, though perhaps some of your memories are less than perfect. But perhaps her many years of hard duty made your life in France easier.Catalysthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03804837416104556928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-11108500387400116992014-09-11T02:08:45.478+02:002014-09-11T02:08:45.478+02:00ah, mothers. i've made peace with mine in rece...ah, mothers. i've made peace with mine in recent years, and am ever so grateful for that, but i know we will continue to have our battles and misunderstandings - in some ways we are very much alike; in others, completely different (so very much like every mother-daughter team to ever grace the planet). nobody can hurt me or pick at my wounds like she can, or make me feel inadequate and foolish, but the flip side is how much we've come to respect and enjoy each other recently, and it is such a gift, given the wars we've been through.<br /><br />thank you for this, and for making me pause and think.the polish chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09929281676865641560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-21402586510236643222014-09-10T23:56:40.329+02:002014-09-10T23:56:40.329+02:00Thank you for sharing. And no, you will never be ...Thank you for sharing. And no, you will never be her. christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04201537517464996231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-59057976235413369212014-09-10T16:08:01.903+02:002014-09-10T16:08:01.903+02:00Wondering if being the last child is rather like w...Wondering if being the last child is rather like walking in at the very end of a movie. It makes very little sense, even if you try very hard to play your part and understand. <br /><br />Which is a mixed, dream-like metaphor, to enter a production to watch, but also to have a role. Everyone else knows the script by heart, while we fumble our lines. Zhoenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03515663141425057088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-80087208980776023682014-09-10T14:08:05.694+02:002014-09-10T14:08:05.694+02:00When I opened up my laptop this morning, your post...When I opened up my laptop this morning, your post and the comments area were waiting for me. <br />Oh how I understand this mirror<br />phenomenon and 'willful ignorance' and the 'not asking' and so much more of what you are writing about. <br />I hope you'll live long enough to come to the same state I have reached. I am more and more proud to look and be like her. <br />How much would it bother you if I were to say that you have the same loveable angel-face as your Mom?<br /><br /> Ellenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14965850008354379369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-16492710321533246422014-09-09T23:13:15.962+02:002014-09-09T23:13:15.962+02:00'oh what a messy legacy, stop looking at me ev...'oh what a messy legacy, stop looking at me every time I look into a mirror' <br /><br />Thanks so much for that Sabine, it made me smile!Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09764296105901909328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37070024.post-40082811464636458062014-09-09T22:44:13.379+02:002014-09-09T22:44:13.379+02:00Thank you for writing this. Evocative and also sad...Thank you for writing this. Evocative and also sad.<br />How hard it is, even after so many years, to make sense of what happened or didn't happen between us and our mothers. Sometimes, I think, oh what a messy legacy, stop looking at me every time I look into a mirror, and other times, it's all golden and distant and yet, quite beautifully sustaining.<br /><br />I hope your memories of your mother will continue to surprise and comfort you.Sabinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09015827501648296977noreply@blogger.com